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Individual one-to-one sessions - $60.00 per hour
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One day 8-hour class: $200
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Hours: 9 am to 9 pm Monday through Friday. Saturdays: 10 am to 2 pm
We offer evaluations and classes in the evenings and on weekends, in addition to regular daily appointments
Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. Anger can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and harm your physical and mental health.
Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY 6:03 a.m. EDT August 3, 2014
If you’re suffering in silence — or because of it — your relationship may be more endangered than you realize, according to new research that shows those whose interactions include the “silent treatment” can spell ruin for the future.
Although researchers say the cold shoulder is the most common way people deal with marital conflict, an analysis of 74 studies, based on more than 14,000 participants, shows that when one partner withdraws in silence or shuts down emotionally because of perceived demands by the other, the harm is both emotional and physical.
“The more this pattern emerges within your relationship, the greater the chances one or both partners experience heightened levels of anxiety or may use more aggressive forms of behavior,” says Paul Schrodt, a professor of communication studies at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, who led the study published this spring in the journal Communication Monographs.
“Each partner sees the other person’s behavior as the start of a fight,” he says. “If you go to him and ask why he’s so withdrawn from his wife, it’s because ‘she’s constantly nagging me and constantly asking a million questions.’
If you ask her why she’s making demands of him, it’s because ‘he doesn’t tell me anything. I don’t get the sense he cares about our relationship.’ Each partner fails to see how their own behavior is contributing to the pattern.”
In much of the research, Schrodt says, the man tends to be more silent; but psychologist Les Parrott of Seattle says he has seen less of a breakdown along gender lines.
“I see plenty of men get demanding,” he says.
It’s that pattern, Schrodt says, that is so damaging, because it signals a serious sign of distress in the relationship. The research, which spanned from 1987 to 2011, wasn’t specifically about the silent treatment; however, the silent treatment is part of a broader pattern that extends not just to romantic relationships but to parenting styles as well, which also were part of the research, he says.
Parrott, co-author of The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring you Closer, a book published in April, says the silent treatment is a very difficult pattern to break because it’s such an ingrained behavior.
“We learn this strategy very early on — just as little kids — to shut somebody out as a way to punish,” Parrott says. “Many of us are prone to sulk or to pout, and that is an early form of giving somebody the silent treatment.”
Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says nothing good comes from the silent treatment because it’s “manipulative, disrespectful and not productive.”
Schrodt’s analysis found that couples who use such conflict behaviors experience lower relationship satisfaction, less intimacy and poorer communication, which is also associated with divorce.
And, he says, some of the studies found the effects were not just emotional but physiological, such as urinary, bowel or erectile dysfunction.
“Partners get locked in this pattern, largely because they each see the other as the cause,” Schrodt says. “Both partners see the other as the problem.”
Parrott and Schrodt agree being aware of the destructive pattern can help resolve it.
“Conflict is inevitable, but how you manage it can make the difference,” Parrott says.
— Become aware of what’s really going on. The person making demands feels abandoned; the silent person is protecting himself. Each needs to ask: “Why am I behaving this way? How does my behavior make my partner feel?”
— Avoid character assassination. It will do more damage to label your spouse as “selfish” or “rude.”
— Use the word “I,” because the more you use “you,” the longer your squabble will last.
You can say something like, “This is how I feel when you stop talking to me.”
— Mutually agree to take a timeout.
When the cycle emerges, both partners need to cool their heads and warm their hearts before engaging.
And some people just need a bit of time to think before they speak. This in NOT Days.
— Genuinely apologize as soon as you are able.
Source: Les Parrott, psychologist at Seattle Pacific University; co-author of the 2014 book The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring you Closer
Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips — from taking a timeout to using "I" statements — to stay in control.
Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.
1. Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
3. Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
6. Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."
7. Don't hold a grudge
8. Use humor to release tension
9. Practice relaxation skills
10. Know when to seek help
1. "What can we do to make things better right now? - James, 40, married 10 years
"This puts the focus back on your partner," says Julie Hanks, LCSW, owner and executive director at Wasatch Family Therapy in Orem, UT. "You show you're committed to fixing the problem, rather than engaging in an all-out battle."
2. "I think it's time for a House of Cards break." - Ken, 45, married 15 years
It doesn't matter if you'd rather watch Game of Thrones or even a funny cat video on YouTube--a statement like this can do wonders for a disagreement that's bound to take a long time to untangle (think: starting the house-hunting process or figuring out tax stuff). But make sure you do come back to the issue after the much-needed break, preferably setting a time to make sure it actually gets done, says Hanks.
3. Help me understand where you're coming from. This is where I get tripped up." Jon, 35, married seven years
This simple nonconfrontational phrase helps clarify where, exactly, you disagree. "In an argument, it's easy for partners to be on entirely different pages without realizing it," says Hanks. "This gets you back on track to figuring out a solution."
4. "You're so handsome/beautiful, even when you argue." - Steve, 38, married 12 years
It may sound like you're wiggling your way out of the argument, but you're also reminding your guy that despite disagreements, you're still on his side, says New York-based relationship expert Gilda Carle, Ph.D. "Plus, if it gets you both to laugh, you'll feel more connected, and that's a win for everyone."
5. "Is this better or worse than the time we got stranded in that snowstorm?" - Kevin, 29, married five years
Thinking of something you overcame together--a bad vacation, bad clams, whatever--serves as an instant reminder that, no matter what, you're a team. Plus, bringing up a ridiculous memory may get you to laugh, which will help diffuse the anger, says Carle.
6. "I say we stop fighting now." - Jaron, 38, married six years
It's not giving in to say you want to quit bickering; it's recognizing that your relationship is more important than whatever the argument is. If you're fighting about something that truly doesn't matter--say, a tiff about driving directions or which restaurant to head to--simply saying you want to let it go can be the most effective tool in your arsenal, say Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, relationship experts and authors of Building a Love That Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage. "Forgiving, forgetting, and moving on is the cornerstone of a successful marriage," they explain.
7. "I think we need coffee for this conversation." - Frank, 42, married 12 years
Yes, it's a stalling tactic, but suggesting a cup of joe also reminds both of you that you may be on edge because you're hungry or tired, says Carle. Obviously, if it's an important issue, you've got to talk it through--a latte can't cure all--but you may find that a jolt of caffeine can provide a necessary moment of pause, even stopping minor arguments before they blossom.
8. "Are we having a cargument?" - Ben, 26, married three years
On-the-road disagreements that spiral into all-out fights aren't fun, but the cutesy terminology can be instantly calming because it reminds you what you're dealing with: being trapped in an enclosed space with someone else who might be equally cranky and exhausted. If you find yourselves frequently arguing at the same time or around the same issue, recognize the pattern and name it. This not only allows you to check yourselves, but it's also another strategy to simultaneously lighten the mood and underscore the fact that, despite everything, you're still on the same side, says Hanks.
Our workshop is for everyone who is experiencing extra stress due to the cascading effects of the financial meltdown, natural disasters, ongoing wars, or any personal challenges during these rapidly challenging times.
The current economic crisis marks a significant turning point in the global changes taking place. This is causing increased stress and tremendous economic fallouts.
These fallouts are increasingly felt in the work place and it’s essential for both management and employees to recognize the signs. A less stressed workforce is generally more productive and more managers are taking advantage of such workshops.
Positive and negative stress is a constant influence on all of our lives. The trick is to maximize the positive stress and to minimize the negative stress. Your participants will be shown how stress can be positive and negative, and we’ll look at the Triple A approach that will form the basis of this workshop.
The Stress Management workshop will give participants a three-option method for addressing any stressful situation, as well as a toolbox of personal skills, including using routines, relaxation techniques, and a stress log system. They will also understand what lifestyle elements they can change to reduce stress.
The workshops also addresses how to reduce stress in the least amount of time.
We conclude the workshop by examining violence on the workplace and signs management and employees must look for.
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